The Passion of The Foul Ball

Here in Chicagoland, religious fervor is building not only over this Passion flic but over the infamous foul ball, which will be ceremoniously executed Thursday on TV screens across the nation and Canada. Betrayed for 113,824 silver dollars and tried by the sons of Harry Caray, the ball's threat to the stability of the Cubs will finally come to an end. Gov. Blagojevich has washed his hands clean of this affair, apparently refusing to grant clemency to the innocent piece of cowhide. There will even be a via dolorosa, passing by Wrigley Field. "O daughters of Wrigleyville, weep not for me, for unlike Christ, I will be getting a pre-execution pampering at a luxury hotel." Hopefully in its case there will be no Resurrection.